There is a war on Saudi women these days that was impossible to conceive just a generation ago. Increasing sexual assaults, harassment in public places, blaming women for the ills of Saudi society, and now, according to a report published Friday, verbal abuse directed at wives.It is all pretty disconcerting.
In my mother’s day, such abuse hardly existed. Although statistics are not available that addressed Saudi social demographics in the 1960s and 1970s, anecdotal evidence of the period suggest that fathers and husbands generally took their faith seriously and put an emphasis on harmonious family relationships.
Today, the family dynamics are radically different. The Internet, satellite television, the ease of traveling abroad and educational opportunities for women have changed the Saudi landscape. The intellectual growth of women in education and at the workplace has had a profound impact on Saudis. And the consequences are, well, many people do not like it. These changes have pushed both men and women out of their comfort zones. Many women are embracing it. Many men are not.
And as a result many people are acting out, betraying our Islamic faith and our obligations to Saudi society. And the abuse is heaped on women, who are benefiting the most from the changes in society. We see with sickening regularity video clips of men chasing women from malls into the parking lot. A man just the other day was videotaped reportedly molesting a young girl. So-called religious men advocate abusing women in the workplace so they will quit and return home.
Then we have a new poll from the King Abdul Aziz Center for National Dialogue, which found that a majority of the 992 men polled said that women wearing eyeliner and mascara are responsible for men sexually assaulting women. Typical victim blaming.
Part of the problem is that Saudi law enforcement remains mired in the 19th century and is far from catching up with 21st century technology and the 21st century lifestyle of Saudi youths. The Saudi Ministry of Justice has been talking about codifying its legal system for years now, but we have seen little evidence of any intent to a standardize legal system that will make sexual assault, harassment and abuse illegal with real-world consequences.
Now, we have a new study that reports that 73 percent of all Saudi women suffer some form of verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is defined by the study as humiliating a wife in public, demanding that a woman be silent in public, threats of physical abuse, denigrating a woman’s personal appearances, using sexually explicit profanities against her, and not speaking her name. Sadly, 31 percent of the 285 women polled said they consider themselves responsible for their husband’s verbal abuse, while 17 percent apologize for their actions that purportedly caused the abuse.
There have been suggestions that Hollywood movies are to be blamed for the increase in verbal abuse of women. That is all pretty much hogwash since it allows men — like the guys who sexually assault women who wear too much eye makeup — off the hook for their behavior.
We have a neighbor next door to use who screams at his wife and children every single day, sometimes from morning until night. The daughters, whom all seem to be under 14, wear no makeup and are as quiet as mosque mice when they step out of the apartment on those rare occasions. The mother is never seen. The girls do not wear makeup, and given their age, I see no evidence that they deserve his reign of terror.
But what I do hear is the kids behaving in the same manner as their father. What I fear is the cycle of verbal abuse will be handed down from one generation to another. Those fathers who verbally abuse their wives and the brothers who harass women at malls and claim they were provoked into raping a woman are setting an example for the younger generation of men to wage war on women.
Answers can be found in Islam, but blaming western media and educated women who happen to wear makeup is the coward’s way out of solving the problem.
Email: sabria_j@hotmail.com
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